Riff Dog Isn't Status Quo.

In case you live under a rock, or (as is more likely the case) dont have an insurmountable amount of patience to sit and wait for an elusive post, Id like you to meet my (kinda) blog friend; Riff Dog.

Riff has a love affair with Ashley Madison (yeahIm not gonna hyperlink that site, everyone is familiar with it).

He has this (somewhat) acclaimed blog about all the different women he meets and bangs off of Ashley Madison.

Now, do I think 100% of what he types happened?

No.

Do I think (possibly) and probably hes leaving out a major element to his experiences?

Yup.

Why?

Let me tell you about MY experience with Ashley Madison.

I use Ashley Madison like 95% of girls do; to make money.

Chiefly; to supplement my income and fill my belly when Im out of town.

You know, meet a guy, charge his a low fee for some time at dinner. I low-ball it because, well, Im not an idiot, and I realize that the bulk of females are hookers, charging rates for sex, something with which Im not going to compete.

So, I change my location constantly, scoop up (usually, because they arent looking for sex, just someone to listen to them talk) nice old dudes, and have some over priced food, and good conversation.

Its worked well for me.

I dont have a picture, which has never really been an issue, because I can reasonably describe myself, and I tell everyone I meet that if when they first see me, they decide Im too hideous to sit with for a few hours, they are more than welcome to tell me to kick rocks. So far, so good; I havent kicked any rocks!

(Who am I kidding?! Im adorable!!!)

Anyway, since there are such an overwhelming majority of hookers on Ashley Madison, I get more than my fair share of sexual propositions. I have a standard answer, that is more than guaranteed to send them running.

But all in all, since it is just another hooker site, Im not that bothered by it.

Well, one element bugs me. Having my foot in the sex industry, Ive learned all the terms. But it STILL is like nails on a chalkboard when I get a message out of the blue that asks What on your menu?

SERIOUSLY!?! Do I LOOK like a fucking Chinese take out place?!?! You want a MENU, go park your call at the mall for an hour or two, youll get menus.

Anyway, the other main component to Ashley Madison, besides the random hooker-hook-ups are the Sugar Daddies.

I have a long and complicated thing about Sugar Daddies.

I had one once. It didnt go well. Okayit went VERY well, I made a TON of money, and took everything at face value; he, however, had some boundary problems, and it ENDED horribly.

So I have ZERO desire to ever do that bull crap again.

But, 2 days ago, I got a DOOZIE of an offer.

*Let me back track. My last Sugar Daddy, and, well, the one before him, too (before he went bankrupt) had the agreement with me that every time they physically laid eyes on me, they would hand me $500. Id see them 10 or so times a month, so, you can do the math. Pretty decent money, and it happened twice. So, theres my standard. Which isnt really too far off from most Sugar Babies demands.

Anyway, prince charming messages me, and offers up this little nugget;

He wants 3 days a week of my undivided attention (and lots of sex), and for all my efforts, hes prepared to reward me with $800 a month.

YUP.


Ill let that sink in for a minute.


To finish up my little tale, I probably ought to tell you why I dragged Riff Dog into this.

Someone CITED him the other day in a message to me.

This guy initially e-mailed me when I was in Chicago, looking for sex. And not just sex, sex for free.

He went on and on and on in his e-mail about how all these bitches wanted to be paid for time and companionship (DUH, its a hooker site! Everyone knows that!) and yadda yadda yadda.

I told him just that; Ashley Madison is PREDOMINANTLY hookers who have found (apparently) a lucrative place to advertise.

He then says well, I read about this guy, he meets hundreds of girl off here for free. He left a link and to my ABSOLUTE amusement, it was to Good Ol Riffys blog.

My reply;

Youre a moron.

Congratulations, Riff Dog. Youve effectively reached super stardom.

People wanna be like you.

<3 <3 <3 <3