Chivalry is dead.

Do you get that? Its fucking dead. Like it does not exist in our generation. Its definition on urbandictionary.com is an Asian sexually transmitted disease. People the age of 17-28 cant even pronounce chivalry correctlythey get stuck on the second syllable

Shhe-viiiiiaw fuck it, Im going to tell her to eat a dick and then shell totally want to bone.

Side note: This is the real urbandictionary definition. An idea developed first by Queen Eleanor of England. Basically, it encouraged gentlemanly behavior between knights, and proposed a system of courting ladies to gain their hearts instead of dragging them home by their hair (sarcasm)

.Like I saiddead.

Side note, side note: If you tell her to eat a dickshe will probably want to bone.

This epiphany occurred to me just recently, when I randomly met a dude that was genuinely polite to me.

That was it. He was politewhich equaled me wanting to bone himimmediatelyand let me be straight with youI ooze Im probably going to be a dick to you so being polite to me really takes some willpowerwhich makes you seem even hotter.soum, hello! You are going to get laid, if you are polite to me.

now Ill totally pretend like Im way too independent to give a shit that you knowingly opened a door for meon purpose but in my headIm just picturing all the terrible terrible (terrible in a good way) things Im going to do to you when we bonebased solely on the fact that you opened a door for meon fucking purpose!

And yes, I know, I totally just said to be a dick in my previous post. But heres the thingbeing a dick is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. We (ladies) arent stupid, and if we are laughing at your dicky remarksits probably because we can tell youre easy and you are the closest guy to us at the momentsoyoull do.

Chivalry is like walking around a park with a huge ass puppyI aint frontinbitches will be fightin to touch your poodle (man junk). And isnt that all you want? A bunch of ladiesfightingin a sexual mannerfor poodles (man junk)?

Exactly.

I think Ive sufficiently made my point. Now go open a door, dick.