...no seriously I'm going to be a crack whore.

Seeing as Halloween is a just around the corner and the whores are in search of their next big costumes without getting arrested for pulling tricks. I thought Id save you all the hassle and give you my top picks for this years whore-ostumes.

1.Debbie Downer.

Did you know that 95% of all Halloween candy is filled with rat poison and previously used hypodermic needles?

2.Theresa from The Housewives of New Jersey.

I think a gorilla suit will suffice for this one... she's just so goddamn hairy...

3.Kitty Sanchez from Arrested Development.

Have we done hair up glasses off yet?

4.Suze Orman.

I had a guy ask me to dress up like her for a sexual fantasy of his I wish that wasn't true.

5.Snooki.

This ones for the boys, actually.

6.Judy from The Laurence Welk Show.

Youll have to fend off the men with your baby hands.

7.DoratheExplorer.

I think we all knew she was a crack whore at heart...with those god damn orange shorts...go work at Hooter's already, for Christ's sake.

8.Octo-mom.

I think this one would be best if you staged the birth on the beer pong table.

9.Boobs.

Honestly, I dont know how the fuck youd come as a pair of boobs, but how fucking epic would that shit be?! Talk about cutting the middleman out, ladies.

10. (Insert drug of choice here) whore.

Cause let's be honest...every one loves a well timed crack joke....well a well timed crack joke...and boobs.