well fuck a duck...

I think we can all say there are moments in our lives that... for a lack of better words...freak us the fuck out.

I am in one of those "said" moments...and um...I'm freaking the fuck out.

It's a very surreal moment when the present is laid outin front of you...especially when you have a nasty habit of focusing soley on the future. I want nothing more than to one day make millions laugh based soley on my utter idiocracy...and love for mayo.

But I'm only 22...I have a long way to go...it took Steve Martin over 20 years to become who he is today...what makes me think I possess anyhint of talent that could one day forge my way into the rankings of thecomedic elite?

I hope I stay weird. I hope I stay awkward. I hope I have a lot of (protected) sex.

But in the end of the day...I just hope I go for it.

I have been in love with comedy since I was eight (and fat). I have been in love with SNL since my mom handed me Gilda Radner's biography in grammar school (and also fatter). I have been entranced by how the pure awkwardness of reality is what makes truly makes the world laugh since my conception (and also probably fat then too).

"Um, birth control and a condom...and you're still here."

I will always look back at my fat days with such fondness, because it exposed me to such comedic genuis and for that I will always be grateful.

This is what I want to do. And the more I write, the calmer I get. Whether I fail or not, I just want to know that I tried.

...and if I really get desperate I can just give myself a camel toe on stage to get a laugh.