Day one in nyc...

1. Found a mouse in my kitchenhes brownI named him Fernando and shall feed him cheese and mayoand tiny bottle caps filled with Patronand once he gets big enough I shall enter him into the underground apartment-mouse fighting championshipand he will winand then I will eat him.

2. Woke up before Matt (my roommate) so I could stink up the bathroom before him.

3. Forgot to put on deodorant.

4. Counted the white people outside my apartment.

5. Tried to set up the DVD player to watch Mean Girls

6. Yelled at Matt (my roommate) to help me set up the DVD player I have a vaginaI cant do this shit!

7. Ate Chinese food while Matt (my roommate) attempted to set up the DVD player.

8. Laughed at Matt (my roommate) when he couldnt figure out how to set up the DVD player.

9. Watched Mean Girls.

10. Watched Matt (my roommate) scream like a prepubescent child as he saw the mouse run behind his bed.

11. Tried to figure out why my room smells like weed.

12. Put my rosaries next to my pack of condomsI dunno, just felt right.

13. Found my old stash of weed packed next to my holy waterI dunno, just felt right.

14. Watched Forrest GumpTelemundo style.

15. Killed Fernando.

16. Cried about killing Fernando.

17. Ate Ramen.

18. Ate more Ramen.