you are just toooooooooooooooooooo expensive.

With all this talk of a second recession looming in the future, Ive come to realize that I need to start cutting things out my daily life style.


The first thing to go: friends.

Sorry guys, but friendship is an insufficient use of time and you bastards are costing me a shit ton of money.

Even my porn is free, yet you all seem appalled when I ask you to pay for my male prostitutes? Honestly guys, thats just common decency.

I blame Judaism. Not that I am Jewish or anything, but the Jews seem like a good scapegoat when it comes to anything money related.

I mean, dont take it personally, but unless you are willing to pay for my drinks, food, gas, prostitutes, adult videos, drugs and cell phone bill, I dont think Im getting as much out of this friendship as I am entitled too.

I know you think youre cool, and maybe you are, but youre still not 5 cents text worthy cool.

Or, Im not paying for your god damn drinks, Natalie, cool.

And definitely not , Get your fucking, Mexican slice of heaven, male hooker out of my fucking room, Natalie, cool.

Poppycock!

You made me choose, my friends, and my, friends I chose Jorge, my Mexican slice of heaven..
And seeing as there is no fall back plan, this better work.

I dont want to be a hooker