and now a serious moment with natalie...

I have commitment/dependency/intimacy issues. I have said this a million timesand will probably say it a million times more. Something is wrong with me and I am fully aware of that fact.

Its kind of like being perfectly aware of your addiction to alcohol I know the situation is wrong, but Im functioningso I aint changing shit.

I know where it comes from too. I was 15 and this 17 year-old asshole basically cheated on my (with my best friend at the time) because I wouldnt do what he wanted.

Ive never been in a relationship since. Im 22.

And for the most part, I dont really care. But there are days man, where you just get so sick of society telling you that you are a lesser person because you are, in fact, not in a committed relationship.

Thank you, Katherine Heigel.

bitch.

But yet, here I sitthinking of my 3 good friends huddled around a tabledrinking Micheloband just completely frustrated with the taboos and speculations of the opposite sex.

Four beautiful girlsbrilliant at what they dolonging for more than a silly boy in lifeyet we fill this void because America tells us we are a complete part of society unless we are completely with someone else.

And at this point its more of a rebellion thing than anything else.

I feel like Ive grown up in the past year since I graduated collegeand I actually think I may be ready to get over some bullshit that happened to in 10th grade

Yet America also tells us that we should never fully open up. Unless filled with ridiculous amounts of Michelob Ultra.

And as clich as it soundsI know this situation wont change (for me at least) until I take a chance. (Vomit.)

So let me finally get to my pointit looks like this taking a chance will be coming sooner rather than laterThanks so my lovely boss who told the boss of the intern I like that Iwelllike him.

Turns out he may...may... like me too.

And I can already feel my body recoiling in fear. The same symptoms are popping up.

Denial. Complete mental shut down. Flatulence.

So this is my social experiment to not fuck this up.

That yes, I will laugh at his jokesall of his jokes. And yes I will blush when he laughs at my perfectly timed black joke. I will not make fun of his hand size.or correct his incorrect assertion about Saturday Night Live (right away).

This is my first social experiment with myselfand if it doesnt workthen I blame that annoying chick from Gilmore Girls. Alexis Bledel.

Fucking asshole.