Creature; Comfort.
Comfort is a funny thing. For some, its a beautiful place where nothing can bug you, not angry, not anxiety, not stress, not rain, not monsters, nothing. A place to let down all your defenses, and be completely at peace.
Unfortunately for others, comfort is a place where their inner monster emerges. And you have to imagine that if one group seeks comfort to get away from monsters, and the other uses comfort to unleash monsters, those people wouldnt be compatible.
And more unfortunately, I fall into the first described group, and R falls into the second described group.
It took 30 minutes last night for him to expose his inner demons. In 30 minutes he went from the man I could have been with forever, to a shadow of a man, veiled by some sadistic, delusional creature.
I must admit, it scared me in a way that I never thought I could be scared. I mean, to say I was rattled at my core is an understatement.
And of course, my heart broke a little. Okaynot a little; a lot.
It hurts that he stopped being who I thought I was, and started being who I never could have imagined he was. It hurts that I have to let go of someone I really wanted to stay with for a long time.
And of course Im angry. Angry at him for lying to me when I first met him and hiding his hideous internal creature from me, and VERY angry at myself for not seeing it sooner.
So, you know what? Im not gonna let a monster ruin my day. Fly on, Little Jen!
Im gonna go out tonight, eat hotdogs, listen to some great music, hug my friends, and o to be knowing Im NOT a horrible creature, lying in wait.
Unfortunately for others, comfort is a place where their inner monster emerges. And you have to imagine that if one group seeks comfort to get away from monsters, and the other uses comfort to unleash monsters, those people wouldnt be compatible.
And more unfortunately, I fall into the first described group, and R falls into the second described group.
It took 30 minutes last night for him to expose his inner demons. In 30 minutes he went from the man I could have been with forever, to a shadow of a man, veiled by some sadistic, delusional creature.
I must admit, it scared me in a way that I never thought I could be scared. I mean, to say I was rattled at my core is an understatement.
And of course, my heart broke a little. Okaynot a little; a lot.
It hurts that he stopped being who I thought I was, and started being who I never could have imagined he was. It hurts that I have to let go of someone I really wanted to stay with for a long time.
And of course Im angry. Angry at him for lying to me when I first met him and hiding his hideous internal creature from me, and VERY angry at myself for not seeing it sooner.
So, you know what? Im not gonna let a monster ruin my day. Fly on, Little Jen!
Im gonna go out tonight, eat hotdogs, listen to some great music, hug my friends, and o to be knowing Im NOT a horrible creature, lying in wait.
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